This is what our Christmas tree looked like Christmas morning. It looked nice, but there was probably a little less underneath it than there was under yours. This was intentional.
Amanda and I agreed that instead of buying each other gifts this year, we would spend that money on a New Year’s trip to see one of our favorite bands with some friends. Sure, there may be some things that we want or that would be nice to have, but we don’t really need anything. We have more than enough “stuff” and we wanted to be able to go to the concert and have fun with our friends without spending an obscene amount of money on Christmas gifts in addition. We made this known to our families as well and they had no problems with it (although they did end up getting us gifts that we’re very thankful for).
Do you remember what you got for Christmas last year? Maybe you remember a few things, but do you remember everything? Not only did Amanda and I want to save our money for our trip, but we didn’t want to go through the usual gift giving ordeal of trying to pick out something for everyone that we knew they’d enjoy, worrying about how much we should spend on them and how much they were going to spend on us, and hoping that our reactions were convincing enough when we opened a present that we didn’t really want or need (you know it’s true).
It’s amazing to see the joy on others’ faces when they open a gift that you gave them, and we’d love to be able to give everyone everything that they want, but that’s short-term happiness. I’d be willing to bet that most of the gifts that you got for Christmas last year are either long gone, you completely forgot about them until now when you tried to remember what you got, or you still only use a few of them.
But, has someone ever gifted you an experience for Christmas? I bet that’s more memorable. I know I remember the Pacers games and concert tickets that my parents have given to me throughout the years much more fondly than I remember any of the clothes that I’ve ever received. There’s evidence that shows that experiences provide more happiness than things.
How many times have you given away tickets to a sporting event, concert, or something else that you received for Christmas? Probably never. How many times have you taken the clothes that you got for Christmas back to the store or straight to Goodwill? Probably more often than you’d like to admit.
We didn’t completely follow our rule of no gift giving. Amanda printed some of our engagement photos to give to our parents which meant that we had to search a few stores to find frames for them. I hate shopping the way it is but shopping right before Christmas when everyone else in the world is out and the stores are packed pretty much puts me over the edge.
Even though I would have gotten my Christmas shopping out of the way well in advance (and probably bought everything online) if we did plan on giving gifts, that experience of going to a few stores just for picture frames made me glad that we agreed to not buy presents.
Not only did we not have to go through all of the trouble (is that too harsh?), but we were able to enjoy our time with our families without any expectations of receiving anything or hoping that those we would have given gifts to would like what we got for them.
The one flaw that I noticed with not giving gifts is that when others give you a gift, even though it’s clear that isn’t supposed to happen, you feel guilty for not reciprocating. Of course, it’s not expected, and they understand your stance going into the holidays, but it still makes you feel a little self-conscious that you received a gift without giving one.
By now you may think that I’m the Grinch, but even the Grinch knew what I’m talking about:
‘’And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: ‘How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!’
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
‘Maybe Christmas’, he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store.
Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!’”
